Freeing Ashes

I’ve been wanting to put some of Wesly’s ashes on his memorial rock garden since last year. When I finally decided to in the fall, I realized the urn had to have a special tool to open up… then winter came.. then covid-19…I did contact the company and they sent me the special “tool”.

It’s easy for me to put things off… but Friday I realized it is time… so, I opened the urn, took a deep breath.. these pieces of gravel (that’s what it looked like to me anyways), were the remains of my precious son…

Those first few years after he died, I couldn’t let even a pince be taken…I just couldn’t, it’s all I have left of him. Now, I felt part of him wanted to be free… I I gathered the container I had bought to release the ashes last year… opened up the necklace I bought last year to put ashes in… and also the keychain. I put a few pinches of the ashes in each and closed them up.

I then took one of the wish papers I had saved from last year… grabbed a magjc marker and just wrote, “Wesly you are free... free to be with the birds and butterflies. We will always love you and be with you."

I then brought the ash container, wish paper and lighter out to his rock garden and lit the wish paper. If flew up, swirling around our trees, it was beautiful... I took the ash container and sprinkled it over the ash garden.

I then just sat on the bench and just talked to Wesly, letting him know how much I loved and also missed him still. The ashes sparkled as I admired the rock garden. At first I saw a few butterflies flying around. Then, a beautiful blue dragonfly just hovered around the bench I was sitting at. It was so pretty. I smiled, feeling Wesly’s presence with the dragonfly and butterflies. Thank you Wesly for your signs today.

I now wear the necklace engraved with his name and “always in my heart”.

Yes, it could have been much more formal, but I wanted it to be about just Wesly and me that day. it was simple, yet so powerful to me. Something I will always treasure. Yes Wesly, you will always be in my heart and I will always love you hun.