Just So Tired

I'm just so tired.. 8 months later, still so tired.. every few hours I wake up at night.. most nights just 5-6 hours.  I used to take over the counter sleeping pills (for months after Wesly died), but long term I know is not good for me and makes me very groggy...   overall, makes it hard to focus, concentrate and remember things.

So, I nap when I can... but, it is a struggle... every single day...

It's a physical tiredness, but an extreme mental tiredness as well.  The strain of thinking of Wesly hundreds of times every day is exhausting.  The strain of wearing this mask to show others you are okay.  People want to know how you are, because they care, but they can't really help you. No one really can, except yourself.  But friends/family can love you and support you and give you a hug when you need it. 

I hope at some point, it will get better... I just don't know when...